0 000 008 / 4. Something about heaven on earth, and more recently by what happens between the fourth ...
It is evening and getting dark outside. I lie at home and watch on television. Actually, not at all completely oblivious to what's there not running, just keep thinking about when I actually call. And again like Hamlet: Now or tomorrow? That is the question. Quickly recall what I read in her profile that he wants so everything goes and so I lay still on the seat, which has been known since childhood and eventually do not hesitate and dial the number. Instead of ringing tone in my ears constantly, however, is that her angelic laughter. I do not expect a long and on the other side of the world, I hear her voice. I feel that I'm nervous myself and it calms me a little, but just in my mind thoughts about what we will talk together. It's terrible, is the first time and still there somewhere inside me tells me something that is good and that they do not have to worry at all. I have to recover and calm down. After all, it is not I who chose her, for she had found me, so surely will wonder what the guy here, one who eats his message while not set out to breath. Immediately I remembered everything she had mentioned in your profile and I was ecstatically clear that he would ask questions and examine me. Oh, pretty little soul left in me and never around me, no blade of security, only his mother's cigarettes. I must admit that I suddenly her voice more and more nervous, but feel fortunate that my adrenaline level equalized, but it was not cool. Actually no I was not ready for this, but you could not even be somehow prepared. Actually we talked about looking for a serious relationship, that he discarded his life, dancing, sex, etc. and that you think about something serious, because what he said we will not lie, it's already old which I laughed, but said She, therefore, recognize that and take it, because I know that this woman feels differently and have their own sixth sense, like nearly everyone and such other things we discussed and currently sits on the terrace, he suddenly asked me if I smoke. I could not even answer her question, and this is only because I have not even really know myself, because I have a few years back about four cigaretama started with, but I still say that stop smoking. Finally, I explained it to her immediately after she told me that every time someone asks, that a guy or a man so they say that not smoking. But I did not care so I told her exactly how it is with me at the current time, and I recall that as much as I hate falsity and such ugly things they like and when I asked her whether she smokes and told me that deliberately smokes out the phone I heard, which I really heard. When there I thought that probably will not be too nervous, but that is probably already too late at night rather cold shakes. Then I asked if he played in a band and explained that by having the mobile Internet and mine things I said there as is my nature and so can not see ..... We have concluded our conversation somehow with the when I asked her, or asked not already know, as I have in mind a completely different idea, so she told me that he wants HAPPINESS, also during the call asked me what I am saying to infidelity, and if I can forgive, so I put it on It said that look at infidelity differently, and that her and I feel quite differently, and then got me tenderly then words, then what is the relationship of sense and so I had to explain to her, whether he does not think like that I'd been unfaithful, because if I strong relationship, so just about me, nothing else exists, but it becomes just that people sometimes fly away, but I think that myself and I told her to not think about me that I was unfaithful, because I'm not really such, but that I can forgive a lot more things than most people could. Perhaps even YOU know the time, that nothing is just fanciful. Moreover, I thought it's about destiny, because such a beautiful woman can have on every finger at least one thousand men, but she chose me. She chose me, for something. Well, because it's quite smart and intelligent woman, but with intellect, I was immediately clear what this is and that it would not be easy. Because tohle the woman who herself určuje and collected and makes you what he wants, just like me. Eventually we parted with the fact that if we want to call each other and then we'll talk. I still think that I was just trying so if we shoot the breeze and the like, but on the other hand, I believe what she says, because I must and I believe her, and finally, just me, or anything else left.
Lie down on the red leskymem covered seat and thought I try to replay the whole conversation. Eventually, I'll put the headphones on your ears and deserts again mp3 player in it again, Anna´s Heaven (Nebe) , because I know that only this can soothe me, and I also know that this night is probably some very sleepless and I will not sleep with. Today I do not love anybody around, but I love this day and this time actually in the end I realize that I love myself again a bit more than I loved and still think, after what she really luck Adrianna, and my desire Scandall. What luck that it actually wants. Actually, yes I love, I love you all folks for that, and if it will keep me, even just out of curiosity, but believe me, I will appreciate it. Actually, here's everything I write because I out of it all crazy and kind of self vented those thoughts and feelings as I possibly circulate from head to toe and I can provide you with peace of soul to tell you this that I really wanted from the heart. so far ...
...to be continued ... Matti Vuori
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