Feelings and emotions on the dirty minds ... act. 0 000 007 (written 29th May 2008 at 17:19 )

0 000 007. Ostrava - city or on a dark city in which I live 

One night, long ago I woke up a special glow, I still lived with his grandmother, that about two-three years ago died in his impressive 96th-those years. It was probably sometime around the second half in the morning and I opened the window, lit a cigarette with the fear that it smells and my grandmother would call me and blame both smoke and begins to build again their usual generational educational rules and principles. Fortunately it did not happen. I looked at the glow and felt quiet night in Ostrava-city. It was even heard it as somewhere to Mariánské Hory (Marian Hills) shunting wagons rolling, I probably smoked two cigarettes and listened to the local streets of the old miners' cottages are now members of the Ostrava-Karvina mines want to mate cats. I must say that there was abundance, and generally lived the cellars of the neighboring two years - the old brick houses.

I thought Scandall, the woman of my vision and felt in himself that somewhere. Somewhere, but I do not know where, just know that feeling in me, deny me this idea. But it was such a special and why I still took it as a mere illusion or a kiss, make love, or rather an artistic muse. 

Somewhere in the city Above the town black orange glow We, the faithful few dazzles face. Only the sounds of drumming ingots into silence when the city still sleeps, he still breathing. Above the dark morning to hear the lamentation from the wheels and rails, wagons rumble and games of cat screams into the silence. Ostrava is still sleeping, breathing Ostrava. I look at the sky, it is red, with the idea of ​​you eat a wonderful dream A woman like a flower of roses out of paper The world as ice patches on the hole. Because I know that somewhere where you live. And I do not know you. The flames rise high chimneys, the laurel leaves cats mate. In the middle of the night's darkness, the sun sets, depression and silent again dominates me. Because I know that somewhere where you live And here I do not know. 
Seattle at night Here I would like to say that I love as well as my grandmother, who was dead and that is perhaps even more time, I will mention, because believe me, I really have no idea what will happen next ... 

Feelings and emotions on the dirty minds ... act. 0 000 006 (written 29th May 2008 at 11:03 )

0 000 006 / 3. Something about heaven on earth, the last time and what happens between the third time ... 

Slowly approaching the end of my working hours, and I constantly think about it when I call She, whether in four or five in the ... perhaps even later? As usual, every day going to the home of the approaching train as usual, the usual bus and my head just what was in me at the moment it happens suddenly. Get off the bus and I walk slowly to the home, but this time do not direct my steps, where surely waiting for me my mother gold, but I change my walking to the right. Porubským walk to the park, around the castle Ostrava - Poruba of Statis Prusalis  the castle pond, which was a very important place in my childhood and is located just below this renovated castle. With each step in my head I discover memories of moments that my eyes when looking at any place where my eye just as he captured the fleeting image of what was once there all done. Again, I see all these people and their faces with whom I spent the time of his childhood and youth, and any situation that ever occurred there. Strange, just a mere ten minutes and during that brief moment in the man will almost entire life.
Finally I come to the pond dam and in the spirit secretly hope that after the recent adjustments to this space is left for me at least is the only vacant seat, which is not occupied by fishermen and others wandering by individuals such as the local drunks and homeless people. I'm lucky, one that left me to do. 

Slowly sit down on it from his pocket and pulls his ragged jeans light blue cell phone and again get into the role of Hamlet: So do I or not?Inside me there is quite strong nerves. Finally, after all just Resolve and when finally I want to call me leave the last piece of the battery. Wow, I wonder about it so much will not be discussed together, but full of nervousness and anticipation after all I take pieces of each other's strength and hitting the green start button.Phone rings. I thought that would ring quite a long time and a wrong I was. To my surprise, it rises quite quickly and we talk together. Quite shy resonate with her and said that I'm sorry, but probably too long we will talk together, because I leave the battery and let them angry if the call is cut off somewhere in the middle whereupon she replied that she also has the problem with the battery itself of its mobile phone and said he was just sitting in a pub with his friend, but that was soon loft home. It occurred to me that this probably would be better to call and I answered her that she is not hear from me either that evening or the next day and I said goodbye to her with the fact that we are very happy for that, I had to then hear the reward for me was quite a wonderful laugh that I still long enough sounding in the ears, perhaps until the evening. Slowly I got up and went home to my dear mother and I immediately put my cell phone battery. The fact we shoot the breeze, really really I was at that moment a very glad that I had heard, because I realize that this would never have been. I actually felt happy. Happy like never before, really happy for the first time in my life and feel good in themselves again after a long time I wandered for seven years of hell and darkness of the world.

...to be continued...

Feelings and emotions on the dirty minds ... act. 0 000 005 (written 28th May 2008 at 20:09 )

 0 000 005. Something about the ring for the first time ... 

I listen again,  Anna´s Heaven and the composition of the Circle just me, or even occur to me not quite so completely there, all those things and people are actually turning in a circle. Suddenly it seems to me that really the type of speeches ... and so over and over ... I was as tangled in the ring ... I want to get out of ... and ... I'm in it again ... and so it is really something. Suddenly I realize how it all works, that things are constantly coming back, still spins round and that it is only its own distinctive energy that somehow sends off into the unknown, and that actually everything he does, whether it is important or unimportant influences the course of the next things to happen. Exactly so, we each make our own destiny.The question is whether one wants to stay alone in the ring and hang in there as the Dutchman still vicious circles around or if he decides to enter the orbit circular spiral that will bring it up or down. It's really just a matter whether upwards or downwards spiral because fate is something like a spring, which suddenly throws with different directions at once, and once there you can find a ship in a stormy sea of ​​life. Actually, at that moment I realize that I still listen to one and the same music, because I will not only something like it, but especially me something special always attracts, yet I could not understand why. Actually in the early realization of my dream of success, fame and wealth, when we founded I - chyme band, and then sometime in the summer of 1992 or 1993, which have seriously do not remember exactly, heavily influencing the music group and MŇÁGA & ŽĎORP, composed music really like their style. 

It consisted quite simply and suddenly the songs we had about over twenty. Then we gave the name of the DHD (Let's minds) and today, over time I have to admit that it was a rather kitsch and perfect music that was still far away and I believe that I - chyme give me that here in the truth, but still ... The band was, the songs were, so let's concerts. Incidentally, we learned that somewhere in the House of Culture in Ostrava-Michálkovice Folk Music Festival is held, organized by our friends who we went once before and after VANDRE various events for which we would now members of the Green Party, advocates and champions of ecology and and sometimes fanatical Greenpeace praised to the heavens and brought out and sometimes we would all be thrown straight into the taste the bottom of the abyss Macocha. One word, and given that they too were curious about us and let us play sometime at the end of the festival rather what would such a culture insert at the end. However, Lada took it too well from the floor when he said: However, best of all ... and I did. When it is folk singer-songwriters and groups ended up slowly and we should prepare ourselves, so we never once could not find a drummer. Eventually, after much searching we found him somewhere in the restaurant next to the local House of Culture in quite difficult conditions. Right to say that he was totally in shreds and when we trotted out to him with the fact that we have to go play and did not even know what's going on. Eventually we managed to pull him on stage and sit behind the drums.Somehow we fiddle from our production there, but our friends and comrades - our listeners appreciated quite polite applause and encore have requested, even though I do not know if it was not only just a friendly gesture from them. I have to say that there was quite awful acoustics and the first time we found out what it does when you get a guitar as well as the two interceptions of questionable what they were. Over time, however, we found that due to the fact that we want to proceed further in the music and our songs to improve more, so that the Lada, our drummer friend, we have to say goodbye as soon as possible, because we felt that it does not intend to work together even though we trying to make music faster and more nimble, so every time it drove through a houpavého to beat and we were back where we were. One day we just with Džibo and I - chyme and said that it simply can not continue like this and we discussed the hard despite the fact that we stood before the gates of our first concert together with our allied band unmarried, but unfortunately we could not dismiss or throw out Lada immediately, because it would not play at all. He came awaited concert, which came on a lot of acquaintances and friends to us and unmarried. We played the first unmarried and therefore should be the highlight of the evening. Concerts finished and we realize the difference between drummers and all that when we played we, as people are quite bored and unmarried quite fun though as there almost all actually came to them. We felt pretty miserable, and everyone there is already a firm decision was made, it's over and that with what we have to get around anywhere and that they should look for a new drummer, since he held another concert with the band, then a grammar school in Ostrava and still DŽEJÁR one band. Lada and then we blew us very much helped Ivo Samiec, brother Honza "Sami" Samiec, former guitarist pretty good club Ostrava band V.K.P.K Džibo.Ivo friend from then and drummed for DŽEJÁR, it was for his age has a very good drummer. We were quite shocked that we were within two or three tests with the lion made all our songs, and thanks to Honza Sami that we actually showed some new ways to arrange the music, we did another song that we actually finally gave Jan and we called her SAMI . So: 

Themselves When I ride by tram and see the girl,                                                                 smile casts and then maybe and then maybe.                                                                             He stands next to her, we'll talk.                                                                                                  We'll talk, we discuss the weather, discuss the weather.                                                                    In the morning is far away,                                                                                                              the weather ended, hands are in the hole,                                                                                         stand on the coffee Coffee is brewed ...    text of our band                                                                                                   Finally concert ended very fairly and Ivos we were very happy, but we also found that style of music Do not take that much about people nenadchneme, as it is every Mňága jaded Nirvana and just flies and we started looking for a new drummer, especially whether it is capable. 

This I want to tell these people: John SAMI Samiec, which in addition to live family life has not really know anything at all and I wish him much happiness in this life and its all around him also. Ivo Samiec, which is currently one of the best drummers in this country and I think he found his happiness, because happiness is his drums, percussion and music. Jakub Kuba Hajník, drummer of the then unmarried, a fact that enabled us to gigs and whom I bo long time saw recently on TV reality show on TV NOVA - Election 3 and currently I think the moderator is doing on ÓČKO TV ( LITTLE EYE TV ) . Dalibor " Bubla " Figel, former guitarist for the unmarried and artist, that also contributed to the fact that we have played and who pays for all that the art of graffiti, as the first Ostrava and painter sprayer graffiti legally - now grafic artist. 

Members V.K.P.K bands, especially guitarist  DŽEJÁR Richard Chmelář, who now works in the sheet music of Jan Pietro Braun, where is the Dance Hall and unmarried, to even know all the indicated path. Anna K. and all around it .... I love it for that and that did and did what they did and still do. I would like him to express not only for me and my gratitude, but gratitude.

Feelings and emotions on the dirty minds ... act. 0 000 004 ( written 28th May 2008 at 9:50 )

0 000 004 / 2. About Heaven on earth, and more recently by what happens between the second time ... 

I do not know if I already wrote before, and if so, please forgive me ... Even that night when I was about to fall asleep, actually I think I was already at the gate of dreams, I suddenly broke away from the middle of dreaming sleep, my mobile phone. With very sleepy eye I eyed who's crazy now, around one half in the morning. I look and behold, what my eyes see. I got an SMS from Adriana. She asked me, quite charmingly, which to me, if I did not lie entirely laid at the knees if you do not sleep and just try it if the phone number is indeed functional. So the next pit. Golden couch, but I think after I sleep, I wonder how I get up in the morning, now I am quite insane sleep deficit, but I can take it. For a while I wondered what I do, I was completely torn from sleep, and I must admit that my eyes it gave quite a nice shift the message read. I felt at that moment just as Hamlet, but instead I'm in my skull right hand held his silver Motorola L6 mobile phone, which I pretty well everybody envied for its narrow profile and I considered the question: Write or writing to? I thought: Well Baby, You must be quite nice predator, while not losing time. So it's really rough, but somewhere under my rude and rough skin came my innate tact, and I thought that such a beautiful girl did not leave so I expect it in a flash replied that it is really is right and guessed said he was asleep, because I have to get up early to work and I assured her that indeed this phone number is a function that does not have to worry about and that I'll call her later and with it, I went to sleep. I do not know if I thought anything that night.

 

Second day. Classic morning, and obnoxious tone of my cell phone wakes me from sleep. It's half past four in the morning and again I have to go to fuel the market economy and willing to benefit my employer. God, you know how much I want !!!... so for a while so just lie down and slowly read through .. think of something pleasant ... slowly dragging around a and blankets behind closed eyelids I see her beautiful face again. So much I wish now to be with you, touch you ... ... embrace you caress you .. pressed to you and keep you ... but then you pretty far away from me ... for about half of some of the world. .. and in spite of keen intellect and cool to me my heart is crushed and created in me a mixture of different feelings. Right from the very morning I just have to think of my fairy and my dream to Scandall. I'm sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his mother and with her my first morning coffee, but now somehow the communication between us seriously. Not that I did not want to have fun with it, but I just want to be alone. Even while I drink coffee and left me a long five minutes of time. I wonder if you still do not light a cigarette again and I feel like Hamlet with the question: Should I or not? Maybe it seems strange to you, but seriously now I deal with quite a serious dilemma, because long ago that I stopped smoking and I really want to go back into it, knowing how much money I will burn again, close my eyes and I see before me fifty burning paper crown, as if I it lighter ignited himself. Quite a laugh about how my progress in a fierce war between the strength of will and determination and brain preceptor to me again after more than a thousand days of whispering, but do not worry, just give ... now, but just a bit, just a little bit and then the room we see in her eyes as I laugh because all the eyes at that moment, we know that's not true. Finally, I'll believe them as well, and set fire to a mother's cigarette, so I shortened the long five-minute time full of boredom than get up and go on the bus. Slowly I walk to the bus stop, in your ears again, Heaven on earth with some sense of nervousness because of the idea of ​​what time I should speak up so I started to line number 37 and rode to the train station Ostrava-Svinov to get to Studénka where I work. Somehow I can not still doing so that my longtime dream suddenly become the fact that a hundred years and perhaps somewhere in the depths of my soul buried and covered with dust, desire and belief to me becoming a reality, simply do not believe it. But I have it in your mobile phone number and came to me from her message. It makes me whole again, some side by side, but I feel good. I just show up somehow when I do not expect it every time or what I want when I want it really rather forget and bury it somewhere deep, preferably at the very bottom of his heart and put my memories. That's how I'm doing all my life as I live, you're actually a nice monster, I'd love for you have killed all the time, but I know somewhere inside you know that I love you even though you really do not know, but I know what you are. After you do all of my desires and my wishes. After all, even monsters need to be loved. But wait my darling beautiful one Those that calculate everything beautifully gentle! Perhaps, and in my head plays
The cup of black coffee water boils, bubbles, dancing .. cube of sugar already in the swim and my love for you burns inside me.
You maybe sometimes you carry the same and here too there plunge your nose into the wall Seeking in the dark Your hand and I just returned echoes.
And I just returned echoes! 

Superimposed into the oncoming bus, and just as usual to seek out any available seat in the spirit, I pray that the way one did not sit next to me, I hate it. And so, again I see before me Your face as the red sun coming through looking at me again and your eyes to watch what you're doing right now. The sight can you possibly elicit only YOU! So I'm going to work and I work a normal regular work duties, but always think of you and wondering where to find the right moment and the way you speak. Another time I picked up a normal phone and call right, but not here. A voice within me urges me to a certain caution. Something inside me told me that I add to the gallantry and rather prefer to speak tactfully try to report what had just done something and I would call completely out of season. Hell, damn my nature, I have it for the whole time as I live pretty annoying. Finally calming: Mathi, slowly rather nicely, I thought and feeling between fear and anxiety such a special and also the excitement fills my whole person. Finally, somewhere on the bottom side, perhaps under the soles of my work boots hidden under a layer of dust, not just where I stand I find the last remnants of courage and I cautiously Help her an SMS asking when it would not fit her speak, before I arrived in lightning speed answer that I can at any time that is still mobile with you and I answer it immediately, now that I'm at work and that most likely she'll get back in the afternoon when I have peace. But I have to honestly admit that I myself need more time for me in the cup itself adds courage. Here I want to really thank the Ostrava Music Group Matyas Gali, who is also an important part of it all and I promise that I will come back to it, because he's very deserving. Personally, I want to express here my lords Dalibor Klapuch Thanks, Paul Vantuch, Banny and still other remaining members of the band, which now can not remember, but I suspect that there was only left Mr Marek Dohnal and S. Roman Kajfosz, for they are and that they did what they did and that they are doing what they do and also from it that they did and what would not dream they could do, but mainly for the release of the album lately. I love Matthias Gali group and their album recently, which led me in some way and continue to lead my life and gives me more strength to overcome various obstacles. Once again I express my thanks and my great gratitude. ... Love You mainly Adrianna ! ... I feel it ... and somewhere inside I know it!

Feelings and emotions on the dirty minds ... act. 0 000 003 ( written 28th May 2008 at 9:20 )

Maybe it wants to read on, whether you understand ..... 
0 000 003 / 1. About Heaven on earth, the last time and what happens between the first ...          


One fine evening, I rushed it home from a nice test of our musical groups LAURECIE was probably around half ten at night and turned on my comp, and as usual I turned to my current entertainment and online game Tribal Wars, it took me some long time, because during that whole time, I met good people and communication with them I was never one. 

I stayed there and stuck around until midnight, but something I could and I looked at the still site you like me, just so happens to be for fun, I do not know what I was thinking, but I saw there that is on my profile I had published there someone, some woman looked at a total of 3 does not happen so often, just so a few times in life. So I could so I nekoukl to the man who it was .... and lo and behold, suddenly ... overthrow the world, I could not tear my eyes from the monitor ... exactly what I wanted ... and I thought, well maybe this is not possible, but it was exactly what I wanted so very much, exactly what I so wished from the depths of the soul ... so this is Scandall,hair as black as crow feathers and eyes blue as the sky ... or better, as the sea. Scandall raven is a woman.
For a while I sat motionless, his eyes completely chained to the monitor and thinking back I have to write it or not, suddenly awakened in me a feeling of uncertainty and I thought that the test will not give anything so I decided to after a little moment to I called her, reconciled with the fact that the answers I confess, because pretty girls doing it this way and went to bed, since morning I had to guess vstanout early to work. The next day I again visited this site, but it has not happened, but rather my curiosity and I must confess to my amazement I found from her answer to that is what I like and so impossible to me to write her answer. I read her profile, so honestly I rolled my eyes at least it about a hundred times and I knew that I could not answer any normal way, as this would obviously ineffective, and so I raised in my own poetry I can not really I did did not cause too much because I have to say that it went from me quite easily. Then next day I got a totally unexpected answer to me like she has her aback, said that such a response about not just anybody. I will not of itself make Freaks and directly admit that I had in him such a nice feeling that I almost hit his head on the ceiling of our flat ground. I had quite a long soap up., I managed a nice and sufficient and an impressive response. Eventually I succeeded. I do not know what happened then, but a message came from the beautiful fairy with a phone number and said to let him leave or delete it and let them know that it does so only someone on sight, I told her that it can very I respect and assured her that she can be completely quiet, that she'll call her and I have added your phone number with the fact that if it came with my phone number, so hiding behind my person. I guess it was about the third night in a row, I could not sleep, because in me mixed feelings different from those sudden feeling of happiness and passing through a certain excitement and nervousness and ending with a normal common fear. Would I never thought that I could suddenly get back to his villa for a small bit closer. For the first time I realized that my longtime dream suddenly becomes a great and powerful reality. But I just did not make himself the saint I have to admit here that just at this time was in my present and certain Far Woman, which are in some way my heart kindled against me, and I suddenly felt like forceps and did not know what to do and so as several times before in this situation ... even if it did not really matter to situations, because I wear my mp3 player can say almost daily on the ears, and if no battery, constantly listening to music that matches my mood, but perhaps some of all like to listen to Anna K., actually in basically I just love this woman even though I never met her personally, but I could, I just did not want to go from beer festivals to Stodolni street when I had a Sunday morning back at half past four nice run to work. Simply Anna K. I like the fact that a female devil and everything around her, I like too, like Grandpa Kulhanek, by the way, my next moment, and now probably the largest specimen after Jiri Vesely  and Pavel Vantuch as bass are concerned. And so I lay and listened to Heaven on earth, and wondering what to do. Actually, I did what I do not think so, I already knew from the first moment I saw my dream fairy, and I realized that my dream has a specific shape and a specific name and also when I listen to her music and not thinking at all and instead let their ideas freely sail and wait for what I whisper my inner voices, though instead just rang and my heart from the past already know that happiness is when you listen to your heart and you can trust me that it makes us rams quite a big problem, because the more we control head so many times I have felt my heart in either the head or somewhere completely on the opposite side, but this time it was different, bright, clean and mostly incredibly strong. I would say rather it was more the voice of the soul rather than the usual completely regular heartbeat, because I suddenly felt in himself a divine peace and the splendid Anna´s voice told me that he who does not wait and hear the good fairy, so what I suspect Heart knows. I know that I love you Adrianna, even if YOU do not know it yet or just Do you have any, but do not believe it!

Feelings and emotions on the dirty minds ... act. 0 000 002 (28th May 2008 at 9:14)

0 000 002 / 1. About Scandall first ... 

Who is it and how Scandall actually was?It's a fairy, which once, perhaps long ago, years ago, sometimes in the midst of the night and appeared to me completely naked in her magnificent beauty. Appeared in front of me and stepped off the white ceiling above me closer to me, or maybe just so they appeared, but it was not just a dream.I know damn well it was a vision, she sat on me and wonderfully we made love and then just as quickly came and vanished, leaving only the remains strong feeling that This is what was just a dream, but it was a real fact.I knew it was only a very vivid dream, because all those things around, those moves, those touches, all those feelings in me were real and sincere, like now my fingers touch the keyboard when I write these words. It was sometime in August in 1992
Who is actually Scandall?Scandall a fairy,Scandall not just a fairy, but she's a woman.Scandall woman is created by my imagination.Scandall is a woman of my dreams, my ideas and ideals.Scandall is my happiness.It's just pretty amazing woman.It's a woman who appeared to me sometime in the middle night.Pretty long black hair and crow's eyes as pure blue sea.Appeared to me, and she was all, livelongcompletely naked.She sat on me and I do it all felt very strongly.She had her face.Scandall is a womanwhich has the body of my desires.That night I made love with hernot really, but the feeling was very much aliveI really feel you, your touch, your smell.Because when it ended and you've lostso left in me just a mere waste and emptiness.It was not just true love, that night I realized that happened soul connection. Souls or bodies.It fell on its own, arrived from somewhere in heaven and can not do that one would hardly want.
Scandall

I think I found you.
I know you're indomitable.
As well as the indomitable self.
But I do not want to go farther for its mirages
I found you.
I found you embodied.
You're far away
far
and yet so close.
The face, hair, body and soul
I found that I was looking for
at night dreaming about it
and after struggling with
All the while I slept
vainly sought her hand in the dark
and just to me, came the echo.
Sometimes the middle of the night
in the living room
the thin blue carpet ...
I see you before you
face to face

(year 1994)
And here I would like to make his first song, which ultimately remainedunder a layer of dust.
On thin carpet
So little is known Ji
and heart beats like a bell when I see it.
I lie and I can not sleep
I like water to me fits.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night,
on thin carpet.

Slowly I close my eyes,
I close behind me, day after sžíral.
Well I know the feeling
when a man grabs and grips inside
sometimes in the middle of the night,
on thin carpet.

Maybe I was crazy, but I see it before me,
is naked ...
The heart wants to fly from the skin, I want to touch it.
Only in the darkness, I fathom.

Perhaps it seemed to me,
perhaps it was just a dream, perhaps I'm wrong.
Before you have an image
What I saw last night, after him crazy,
sometimes in the middle of the night,
on thin carpet.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I see it before me,
is naked.
The heart wants to jump out of skin, I want to touch it.
Only in the darkness, I fathom.

So little is known Ji
and my heart beats like a bell
when I see it.

Anyway, I bless this love with the moment that never happened, because now I know it was you Adrianna YOU ​​and I finally found what I was after all this time he wanted, that what I dreamed of what I have all the time from the depths of his soul, and like what we have in our hearts all the time wore.And I know that when you come you, so come with you my happiness.Nekutečně I love you, honestly, purely and bottomless.It beats for you my heart and carry the love you all the time hiding.That pure love, sincere and incredibly innocent and infinite.Then the pure love of God as light.And I'm very glad that I have and wear your heart on your ....... But not enough to me!Heart after all ... did you give to anyone I want your soul to a beautiful baby.... Your beautiful and I want a beautiful head, because I know that when I have this, so she likes me then you want to put all their heart, and only then we can be next to each other as you want YOU to live side by side in peace and quiet, in love and humility and that we love each other so as to have never loved.That we love together just like that night.Living side by side with you Scandall just as you want especially those living in LUCK!Believe me, I love you too Adrianna!